the squeaky pickle gets the cheese

Tell me Hank, why do you drink?

(Welcome foxnews.com readers! Click around, read my stuff and leave me some nutty comments.)

You should hear Bocephus’ rewrite of “A Country Boy Can Survive” for John McCain’s time as a POW in Vietnam…he uses no less than 5 racial epithets.

I LOVE seeing Hank Williams Jr. campaigning for the McCain / Palin Magical Mystery Tour. I do get the feeling that Todd and Sarah are singing the real lyrics under their breath.

There’s virtually no chance in HELL of them winning the White House so might as well have a hard-drinkin’, pill poppin’, dope smokin’ good time at the rally!

Back in the good ole days when I was touring the dive bars of the South telling jokes for a living, I stayed at a country music themed motel.

I was put up in the Hank Williams Sr. room. It had tiny twin beds and was non-smoking.

I called the front desk and said, “There must have been a mistake with my reservation, I requested the Hank Williams Jr. room…you see, all my rowdy friends are comin’ over tonight…”

My new room was for chain smokers and had a big ass king sized bed with a fuck-hump in the middle.


18 Responses to “Tell me Hank, why do you drink?”

  1. here is why I drink


  2. I’m not voting for either McCain or Obama, but this is disgusting. Williams is a genuine American moron.

  3. Hank Jr. is a delusional drug addicted alcoholic who disgraces his Daddy’s name. Talk about questionable associations. This one travels with them, endorses John and Palin, and speaks at rallies.

  4. if you dont like Hank Jr. then F___k you dont listen
    i hope he keeps doing what hes doing cause this country is turning in to a bunch of no backboned fags.

  5. joseph, you spineless moron. you have less brains than a horny toad, you know what a horny toad is, doncha? Let’s hear a good old sarah palin parasailin’ shout out for the horny toad called Joseph.

    now, as to fags, what are you so scared about little boy? you afraid some homosexual is going to hurt you, you big hunk of stupidity? or maybe you’re afraid they won’t notice you at all. yeah, that’s it. you’re afraid you’re not only stupid, but ugly with a capital B for Butthead. or maybe you’re a butthead, and you know where that puts you most nights, or do I have to spell it out for you, you weasly coward.

    anyway, joseph boy, sweet dreams. the real Americans like me, the real patriots, the real country boys, are about to take our country back from the idiots like you. so here’s a goodnight kiss, baby brother. and you know where.

    a true American Maverick, not like old follower Joseph and his phoney leader, Hank, who spits on his father’s good name

  6. Sarah Palin ; pretty on the outside…..but ugly on the inside

    Hank Williams Jr. ; Well he is just ugly all over !

  7. Ohhh. He is a singer ?! You will have to forgive me – I’m not from around these here parts.
    I had always assumed he was some sort of YETI / BIG FOOT creature they had brought down from the (not so) Frozen North.
    I thought Todd ,the First Dude ,might have mowed him down in some sort of High-Speed Snowmobile Incident, and the Palins had taken pity on him.
    Well its POSSIBLE , isn’t it !! Hmmm. Perhaps I’d take back the part about the PITY.

  8. to Joseph; YYEEEEE HAAAHHH

  9. The only part I really don’t understand about the rhetoric being used (or has been used since it is so close to over) is the reference to breaking up the “good ‘ole boy network”… It so appears that they are the “good ole’ boy network? Well not McCain as much but Palin, the one speaking against it…

    (Just think it is strange)

  10. Hilarious, considering that Obama is a chain smoker and in his book admitted extensive use of cocaine and marijuana. Why should you care what Hank Williams Jr. does? You are electing a president, not a pop star.

  11. Wow I think he at least has more values than most of you and probably has made more money and spread his wealth around alot more than you but you will get your chance at that IF Obama gets in office. He is alot better man than Obama and Obama wants to be president………what a disgrace for our patriotic country……God Bless America, McCain/Palin and Hank too!

  12. I am amazed that you folks are so f’n stupid, how can you be allowed to reproduce? Hank is a true Blue American and a successful one at that which is obviously more then anyone can say for most of you. On the subject of fags which i am not at least you folks are a diminishing return because you can’t reproduce, thank God. You people are hatefull with a total lack of intelligence and probably never did anything for your country except collect welfare and suck on the American Tit whil people like us have defended your right to be insane in public. Obama is the Anti-Christ and a Socialist that will destroy this country faster then any other President in history. If he gets elected we are doomed to a Hugo Chavez type government. He make Clinton look so conservative it’s actually funny. He’s a backstabbing pice of shit.

  13. JoeD, I couldn’t have said it better myself. You’ve reiterated what I’ve been thinking since Obama became elected senator of the state I live in. He has done nothing while holding political office except run for the next one. I wish people would wake up and stop listening to this Godforsaken media. Do the research for yourself and you will see. Don’t vote for someone because Oprah told you to. WAKE THE F___ UP!!!!

  14. to JoeD :

    Yeah. You sound like you do a lot of defending peoples’ rights !! And don’t worry–it is a fact that educated ,thoughtful people reproduce much fewer children than Rednecks ! Its probably something to do with not using more than your fair share . Pretty RADICAL thinking ! I can use REDNECK to describe Palin because she said she is proud to be a Redneck ! Of course she is ! She is probably proud to be SO IGNORANT , too.
    2 days to the election and she STILL doesn’t have the VAGUEST IDEA who is in Government in Canada!! CANADA is the huge country that isolated ALASKA is stuck on the side. You know , the ONLY PLACE ALASKA SHARES A BORDER WITH. you MAY KNOW THAT ,BUT WE CAN’T BE SURE THAT SHE KNOWS !
    Hey, look at that ! I managed to respond to you without calling YOU any nasty names !! Now you try.

  15. to ttj :
    Gee, didn’t George W. Bush have a book in which he admitted was a Drunk and had a Cocaine problem. THERE WAS ALL SORTS OF GOOD STUFF like drink -driving and repeatedly failing in one big business after another, even with Daddy bailing him out !! Don’t even get me started about going missing whilst on duty when he was in the National Guard–in a time of war ,too.
    So , of course , you have never voted for George W. Bush , I take it . Because you aren’t a hypocrite ,are you ?

  16. I love Hank Williams and will forgive him for taking part in this divisive, class-baiting brand of politics.

    For the record I didn’t hear a single racial slur in his song.

    Also, you all should tone down the vitrol and realize that we’re all americans (other than Aussie perhaps) and blessed to be in a country where we have the opportunity to vote and express ourselves. Compared to most democracies we’re far right of center socially and fiscally and the differences in our two parties is pretty insignificant on a global scale. Obama would not be Hugo Chavez — I’ve yet to see a logical argument behind that assertion, and I find all of those socialist claims to be a big disingenuous since the nationalization (aka ‘bailout’) package was just passed by Bush, and supported by BOTH candidates.


    Try to get a transcript of Rupert Murdoch giving his first Boyer lecture ( 1 of 6 )
    in Australia couple of days ago. For those who don’t know , Robert Murdoch is the Australian – born owner / boss of News Corp. , of which FOX , is only one part of his massive World-wide media holdings. Mr. Murdoch is famous for personally choosing his Editors etc. to tailor his message.
    Anyhow, I was bemused to watch coverage of the Boyer Lecture because ,if you made the slightest changes to allow for Aussie terminology, you would swear it was an OBAMA Speech !! So , my friends , don’t take the opinions expressed on FOX too seriously — its owner doesn’t !!

  18. to Independent Michael :

    Bless you and your rationality . ( I am being sincere ,not sarcastic ). And if it helps — my only sister married an American. When they married ,he was in US Navy (classified but something to do with Nuclear subs and computers,I think.)
    He was staunchly Republican ,patriotic and white ( he is still white ).They lived in Hawaii for several years until they moved back to Australia because their IVF treatment to get pregnant was sending them broke in USA. Using our “Socialist” medical system , they eventually had a son , that my brother-in-law wanted born in Australia , mostly because he says our public education system is so much better.
    Now , my brother-in-law has taken Aussie Nationality , has an excellent job that he loves , a beautiful home in Sydney and recently voted for the new (LEFT-WINGED ) Australian Government !! So I’m not going to give-up on you Americans, not yet anyway.

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