SQUEAKY PICKLE
the squeaky pickle gets the cheese

Sports Inaction

Hey there sports fans and avid Squeaky Pickle readers!

I watched enough ESPN, NFL Network and Fox Sports Net today to consider myself an expert in the world of athletic competition, let me peel my fat-ass out of the me-shaped dent in the couch and take you on a short tour of all things SPORT…

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After retiring from coaching, Tony Dungy to walk the Earth like Caine from Kung-Fu.

pulpdungy

The first and only African American coach to win a Super Bowl has walked away from the game after 31 years of coaching. He says he’s leaving the Colts to spend more time with his family and to focus on his ministry outreach working with high-risk young men.

That sounds nice and all, but I think we all know the reason he’s leaving…

Peyton Manning is a total asshole.

peyton-manning-picture-41

Yeah, I said it.

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While you sleep, Rickey Henderson grows stronger.

rickeyzilla

Rickey Henderson, allegedly the inspiration behind the Curious Case of Benjamin Button, was elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame damn near unanimously last week. But that’s not enough for Rickey, he’s trying to become the first Hall of Famer to play after being inducted in the Hall.

I think he can do it too, Rickey Henderson is a freak of nature who eats bases and shits RBI’s.

Rickey Henderson should become the next BADASS internet sensation like Chuck Norris…except his shit is fo’ real.

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Mark Cuban gets tough, getting ready for white collar prison

cubanhandluke

Facing some complicated insider trading charges which might include some mild-prison time (think Martha Stewart, not Michael Vick), Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban is trying to beef up his street cred by storming the court and chasing down a ref after a questionable game-changing foul call last night in Denver.

Nice move Mark…all your pointing and yelling really looked tough, none of those soft-ass Bernie Madoff types are gonna fuck with you now! You can walk down the fairway at Club Fed knowing that you are the baddest sumbitch in Cellblock E

He’s gonna get fined, which is nice because the league needs the money.

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God, please let the Hornets be a COLLEGE team…


…or at least let these two be seniors. If not, I’ll soon be blogging from jail.

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BREAKING NEWS: A Boner will now get you DQ’ed in a MMA fight.

groundandpound

It was bound to happen.

In a surprise announcement, Dana White instituted the NO CHUB RULE in any and all MMA fights.

When asked why this was necessary, he just pointed at this picture.

Unfortunately, you can never UNSEE that.

(Please don’t sue me Dana White, its just a joke…and I say this because you probably Google yourself a few times a day.)

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Go hit the showers my friends, I’ll have more soon enough.

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7 Responses to “Sports Inaction”

  1. Who runs this blog. Must be a professional, this shitzz too funny to be some kind of hack comic. Ride m’ Cowboy. Keep riding that horse bro’ Really miss the Red Eye.. we all do :)))

    Yogi -=

  2. Great stories. The cheerleaders are probably still in High School, except a visit from that “to catch a predator” guy soon. Now if you don’t mind I’m going to drink a bottle of Jack Daniels so I can get the wrestli9ng picture out of my mind.

  3. You are an asshole and a FAG

  4. […] – Peyton Manning photo credit: The Squeaky Pickle Tags: arizona cardinals, Atlanta Falcons, Baltimore Ravens, cincinnati bengals, dallas cowboys, […]

  5. whoever said something about peyton manning is dumb and out they mind


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